A few weeks ago we decided to submit to the Friars’ Club Sketch Competition, which meant we had to record a live performance. We didn’t have any performances scheduled in time for the submission deadline, so we decided to rent the Tre Stage theater space in Hollywood and film what a live show would look like (we toyed around with adding a laugh track to simulate a true live show, but realized how moronic that would seem). William had a casting director workshop until 10, so we booked the space for 11 PM, figuring it would be a late night, but we’d hunker down and be done by midnight.
Now here are the things we didn’t know. 1) The Tre Stage shares its entryway/lobby with a second theater space. 2) On Thursday nights, that theater space is booked for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. 3) On this particular Thursday night, they were hosting their annual Waffle Night for local alcoholic homeless. 4) Hungry insane homeless alcoholics are not quiet when they eat waffles (I probably already knew that one).
And this wasn’t even some half-assed Eggo operation. The AA host actually brought homemade batter and waffle iron. The guests, on the other hand, just brought a propensity to shout things like “The tall man took my socks while he was dreaming! More syrup!”
We tried filming anyway. Result: interrupted by crazy people screaming about waffles. We tried asked them to settle down. Result: Crazy people screaming at us about waffles. We tried asking the host to settle them down. Result: Crazy people screaming at her about waffles. William even tried to use his charm and persuasive demeanor to convince them one-on-one to be a little quieter. Result: (for a change of pace) One of the ladies showed him her vagina.
So for five hours we sat on stage, in costume, waiting for our famished and destitute friends to leave. Finally at 4:00 AM they filed out and we, in a state of total exhaustion, sleepwalked through our sketches. It took all of half an hour. And as we were leaving the theater the AA host, who was still cleaning up the lobby, apologized and offered to make it up to us. Yes, with waffles.
