I’m not the first guy to point this out, and I’m not going to be the last. But maybe you heard it here first. London, the host of the 2012 summer Olympics and Paralympics, just revealed their mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville. Check the link below for pictures.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/picturegalleries/7740806/In-pictures-London-2012-Olympic-mascots-Wenlock-and-Mandeville-are-launched.html
All right, this is my first question: if you’re going to host one of the most popular athletic events in the world (second only to the World Cup), don’t you appoint a guy to make sure that none of your logos or mascots look like giant, throbbing cocks?
I mean, this isn’t one of those “trick of the eyes” things. It’s not as if you tilt your head, squint a little bit, and have an “A-ha!” moment. You take one look at Wenlock and you’re already trying to think of a wittier thing to say than “Wencock.” This guy is an enormous, walking erection. Did nobody in the P.R. Department notice this? Did everybody go out for tea and crumpets during the “Make Sure The Mascots Aren’t Big Ole Wangs” meeting?
In case somebody in London has missed my point, let me re-iterate. These guys are cocks. They are cocks. They are cocks. They are cocks. They are cocks. They could be nothing but cocks. The only things they might be are monsters or aliens, but that can’t possibly be the case. See the following flowchart for proof:
Here’s another question that springs to mind: even if they realized that Wencock totally looks like a sausage beast, and they were totally fine with it (perhaps an erection of that size and fortitude represents the physical prowess of the male athletes), did they really think that an erect penis was the best symbol for the Paralympics? I wonder how many members (ha ha) of the Paralympic athletes can even get it up? Certainly not the wheelchair fencers.
Furthermore, how come Wenlock has his eye narrowed in an aggressive manner and Mandeville is giving the doe-eyed stare of a little bitch? Last time I checked, the “Blade Runner” could still kick almost anybody’s ass in a track and field race. These people deserve a mascot that is badass.
I guess I’m done with this for now, but mark my words. More than a few dick jokes are going to be flying around London two years from now. Maybe they don’t mind. Heck, Shakespeare practically perfected the art form. Anyway, it’s about time to throw in the towel on this article. But I’m sure they’ll pull something else in the future. After all, they did design their logo to look like Lisa Simpson was giving somebody head.
Don’t pretend you don’t see it.
